Father's Day without My Dad

It's been ages since I last posted here about anything. My close friends and my boy friend has been urging me to update my blog but I just couldn't find anything interesting to write about. Or was it just my excuse so that I won't have to face my fear...fear of writing about what happened after my Lola died, fear of remembering every single thing and feel the pain all over again. But I know one way or another soon I'll have to face that fear.

Five days after my Lola was cremated my Dad passed away. We were able to attend the mass dedicated for my Lola and went home that fateful night...we took him to the hospital less than an hour after we got home. He was still cheerful despite the pain he's going through. He was still talking to us...I just turned my back for a second and found him being carried to a hospital bed in the ER...for an hour they tried to revive him.

Almost a year later here we are still together and holding on to each others' strength to survive that pain of losing my Dad. And as I write I am trembling from trying to hold back the tears...I can't say we've moved on but life still goes on for us. We celebrated Father's Day for my Kuya Paolo and my brother...as for my Dad I know he's looking down on us and he's happy seeing us together.

Good bye, Lola

My grand mother passed away last Saturday morning at 97. More relieved than sad, the rest of the family thanked God that she is finally free from all the pain and suffering. Matagal na rin kasing may sakit ang Lola ko at ilang buwan na rin naman siyang naka-NGT since hindi na niya kayang kumain ng solid food.

But I still couldn't stop the tears when I finally came to see her remains at the Loyola Memorial Chapel in Guadalupe...buti na lang kasama ko ang boy friend ko his presence helped a lot para lang mapigil ko ang sarili ko sa pag-iyak. Mas pinili kong 'wag nang pabagsakin ang luha ko kasi ayokong makita ng mga Auntie ko and especially my Mom na umiiyak ako. I grew up with my Lola at habang pinagdadasal namin ang kaluluwa niya memories of my childhood with her by my side just came rushing in. Bittersweet...as my farewell message to you Lola...I'm dedicating this song to you. You may be gone, but certainly not forgotten.

"With You In Your Dreams"

If I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
It's not goodbye
Don't look back at this time as a time
Of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams
Oh I'll be with you, oh oh

But If I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
Don't ask why
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams

Oh oh

Don't cry, I'm with you
Don't cry, I'm by your side
Don't cry, I'm with you
Don't cry, I'm by your side

And though my flesh is gone, whoa
I'll still be with you at all times
And although my body's gone, oh
I'll be there to comfort you at all times

Oh oh

But If I'm gone when you wake up
Please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up
Don't ask why
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you
I'll be with you in your dreams

Oh, I'll be with you
Oh
I'll be with you in your dreams
I'll be with you
I'll be with you

I don't want you to cry and weep, oh
I want you to go on living your life
I'm not sleeping an endless sleep, oh
'Cause in your heart
You have all of our good times
Oh, all of our good times
Oh oh you have

And if I'm gone when you wake up
Don't ask why
Don't look back at this time
As a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me
'Cause I'll be with you in your dreams

Oh
I'll be with you in your dreams
I'll be with you
Oh
I'll be with you
I'll be with you in your dreams
I'll be with you in your dreams...

My Davao Experience

I have been wanting to write about my Davao experience last May 22 of this year when my best friend literally dragged me to join her in her Davao weekend escapade.

Everything was a first to me...first time ko sumakay sa airplane..first time ko makapunta sa Davao! Di naman ako natakot pero may kaunting kaba...exciting nga eh! Sayang lang maganda sana kung nasa may bintana ako at nakapag-sight seeing! Pagdating namin sa Airport naamoy ko na agad yung beach...napaka-ganda!!!

Ang aga namin dumating sa Davao and we went straight to Paradise Resort para nga mag-beach! Very relaxing. I met two of my best friend's girlfriends Meri & Chare...I enjoyed spending time with them along with my best friend's son Miggy!

The hotel was great...yun lang medyo di ko feel yung tapa nila...tigas kasi eh but everything's great! Non-stop ang pamamasyal namin and I get to meet some of my best friend's Dabawenyo friends too...they were all nice people. Pansin ko nga malinis sa Davao, mababait ang mga tao, mura ang bilihin at hindi mapagsamantala ang mga cab drivers unlike some here in Manila.

We went to Crocodile Park, Butterfly Farm, Xcelerator and Eden Park. My zipline experience was the best! Nakakahiya lang sa mga kasama ko kasi panay hinto namin dahil sakin habang umaakyat kami sa bundok! Hindi kasi kaya ng powers ko! Pero proud ako sa sarili ko nung makarating ako sa tuktok! I wanted to try the "superman" position but I chickened out kaya naupo na lang ako! Ehehehe.

Pumasyal din kami sa Aldevinco where we bought our pasalubongs...kaunti lang binili ko hindi lang dahil nag-aalala ako na lumagpas sa 7kilos ang bagahe ko...inaalala ko rin ang budget ko! Teehee!

Panalo ang mga pagkain! As in the best talaga! Sa wakas nakilala ko na rin ang pork marinara ng Lachi's! Napaka-sarap! Sayang lang walang masyadong panahon hindi ko na-sample ang iba pa nilang pagkain! I bet masasarap lahat yun! Sa totoo lang kaya ako biglang napa-blog dahil nag-crave ako sa pork marinara! Lolz

At ang susunod na panalong kainan duon ay ang Delongtes!!! Panalo! Bottomless liempo, panalong rice at bottomless Iced tea for Php175 lang!!! Kalurkei talaga! Panalo pa pati yung sarili nilang jingle! Hanggang ngayon natatawa pa rin ako at naaalala ko pa rin si Merci!

Gusto ko nang manirahan sa Davao!!!

Thanks to my best friend Aileen for making it happen! (hugs)

Reflections

The year 2008 had been great for me…I could say it is by far the best year of my life. Nope, I didn’t win anything…well except for that raffle during our company’s Christmas Party last year…I didn’t have that much of a salary increase or anything like that but what I got was something that is priceless!

I’m talking about experience. I have quite a lot last year and new ones too. It was a rollercoaster ride. I’ve tried new things, did things that I wouldn’t even dream of doing.

I count my blessings this past year, despite all the tragedies around the country and the economic crisis my family managed to live through it with the help of Papa God of course! I give thanks to Papa God because no one got sick in my family…I mean wala namang serious illness.

I’ve met new friends and got rid of an old one…for good. Hindi na kasi siya nakakabuti pa sa buhay ko.

May mga stressful na pangyayari sa office but in general peaceful at masaya naman ang buong taon ko sa office.

My personal life has been better. Medyo mas napagtuuanan ko kasi ito ng pansin ngayon unlike before.

Looking back, this year 2008 had been a fruitful year for me…for the first time in such a long time masasabi kong hindi nasayang ang taon ko.

Ito ang taon kung kelan ako nagsimula uling bumangon.

Sa Totoo Lang...

Here are five interesting questions na naitanong sa akin nang minsang mangielam ako sa blog ng may blog...overdue na nga ito eh. This is supposed to be a meme pero tinatamad na akong i-copy-paste yung instructions and everything kaya ito sinagot ko na lang ang mga tanong na naibato sa aking direksyon. Kung wala kayong magawa...pakibasa na lang...kung ayaw niyo naman...sa window na ito may "x" button...paki-click na lang. :)

1) Maraming humahanga sa'yo bilang isang napaka-optimistic at matulungin na tao. Ano nga ba ang mindset mo tungkol sa pagharap sa mga problema?

Hindi ko alam na napapansin pala ang mga ginagawa ko para sa mga taong malapit sa akin, ang mindset ko sa pagharap sa problema? Wala akong paki-elam kung maging korny man ito para sa ibang tao (walang basagan ng trip!) pero sa totoo lang ang lagi kong iniisip kapag may problema ako ay ito…”walang ibibigay sa akin (problema) si Papa God na hindi ko kaya…/Hindi ito hahayaan ni Papa God na pagdaanan ko kung hindi ko ito kaya…" so basically yung faith ko bilang isang Christian ang nagmo-motivate sa akin para harapin ang mga problema kahit na napaka-hirap pa nito.

2) Ano ang nakikita mo sa sarili mo, limang taon mula ngayon?

Limang taon mula ngayon ay nakikita ko ang aking sarili na mayroon nang asawa… (good luck!)

3) Anu-ano ang mga priorities mo sa buhay, sa puntong ito?

Family ko, mapagsilbihan sila sa abot ng aking makakaya, to give a better life to myself, magkaroon ng sarili kong buhay with my boyfriend.

4) Kung sakaling hindi mo nakilala ang boyfriend mo, ano sa palagay mo ang magiging tipikal na araw mo?

Uh, madali yan eh, kung hindi ko nakilala ang boyfriend ko malamang sa malamang ang araw ko ay iikot sa ganitong routine…(weekdays) gigising ng 5am, kakain ng almusal in short magpi-prepare para pumasok sa opisina, sa opisina ang buong araw ko habang ka-chat ang mga best friends ko kung available sila, surfing while working tapos nun uuwi na pagdating ng 4:20pm oh kundi naman eh pupunta sa Giligan’s or manunuod ng sine kundi ang best friend ko ang aking kasama, kasama ko ang dati kong inaakalang mga kaibigan, then uuwi na mag-hahanda sa pagtulog tapos uulit lang ang araw ko. (Weekends), almusal pagkagising ng 8am tapos magsa-soundtrip, eat bulaga sa tanghali o di kaya naman dvd sa kwarto ko, pagkatapos ng eat bulaga manunuod ng kung anuman ang matripan sa cable kung wala naman soundtrip uli…ligo, kain siyempre…in short boring at monotonous ang araw ko.

5) Magbigay ng isa, iisa lamang, na bagay na naging dahilan kaya napatibok ng boyfriend mo ang puso mo.

Hindi siya natatakot ipakita sakin na mahal na mahal niya ako. (Coz most of us are afraid to show what we really feel towards another…boyfriend man yan o sa family members…siya hindi) mahal niya ako kaya pinapakita niya walang pakielamanan ng buhay quesejodang kung sino makakita basta importante sa kanya ay napaparamdam niya sa akin na mahal na mahal niya ako…kaninong puso ba naman ang hindi titibok kapag ganun?!

Naks!

Interesting 10

I haven't been blogging lately due to the demands of my work (ahem!)...I've been quite very busy lately. Pero dahil gusto kong makisali sa project ni Ms. Janet na Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs for 2008 ito po ang list ng mga blogs na nakakapukaw ng aking pansin lately.

http://www.yougottech.com/

http://loveandromance-tashabud.blogspot.com/

http://www.blogniinday.com/

http://modernmariaclara.wordpress.com/

http://wherebloggersandhumansmeet.blogspot.com/

http://www.filipinovoices.com/

http://www.miss-write.com/

http://rincel-rebelprincess.blogspot.com/

http://esoteric-journey.blogspot.com/

http://www.itsngenius.net/

Hope you guys will find it interesting too. Mixture yan ng mga kwentong nakakatuwa, nakakatawa, nakakaiyak, politics, real-life, fiction at kung anu-ano pa. Kudos to the interesting people behind these interesting blogs! (Sorry sa pag-gasgas ko sa word na "interesting"...interesting naman kasi talaga eh! ;) )

My Guardian Angel

Last Friday I went to a friend’s house with my crew just to hang out. After the super delicious meal that her Mom prepared for us nag-simula na ang kantahan! Of course I did not sing with the mic…nakikikanta lang. Ehehehe..shy type ang lola niyo eh!

Right after dinner sinerve na ng Mama ng friend ko yung Red wine sa amin…nahiya naman ako lalo kasi sobrang pag-aasikaso naman nila sa amin. Di pa ubos yung red wine pumasok na yung ibang mga guys na nag-iinuman sa labas ng bahay nila timing rin naman ang pagpasok nila kasi biglang buhos naman ang napaka-lakas na ulan.

When it started raining that hard eh kinalimutan ko na rin yung hopes na baka magkita pa kami ni Bakla. Since I won’t be going anywhere afterwards eh naki-inom na rin ako with my friends.

Before midnight we all decided to go home na rin. Sa may kanto isinakay muna ako ng mga friends ko bago sila umuwi. I am not familiar with that place and I was planning to take the cab home na lang but the thing is inaalala kong baka hindi enough yung barya ko at baka mabad-trip sakin yung driver pag binayaran ko ng 500 bucks.

Malas ko lang yung jeep na nasakyan ko eh pauwi na pala…gagarahe na. As a result I got in the middle of nowehere…nakonsensya yata yung driver matapos niyang tanggapin ang 20 bucks na binayad ko eh hindi rin pala ako makakauwi sa dapat kong babaan he waited for me hanggang sa maka-kuha ako ng cab.

Sa dami ng cab na pumasok at lumabas sa looban na yun nahirapan pa rin ako kumuha ng cab. Mabuti na lang dumating ang isang anghel! May papalabas nang cab noon eh pinara ko pero hindi siya nag-stop then suddenly binalikan niya ako at sinakay sa cab niya. Tinanong ako ng cab driver kung anong ginagawa ko sa lugar na’yun…apparently delikado pala dun sa lugar na’yun kaya lahat ng cab na papasok dun eh hindi na kumukuha pa ng pasahero from there…eh naawa lang daw siya sa akin dahil babae ako and it seemed na parang di ako taga doon sa lugar na’yun kaya niya ako binalikan. Madami daw kasing mangho-hold-up dun, snatchers at kung anu-ano pa.

I was very thankful at hindi ako iniiwan ng guardian angel ko. Sa sobrang takot at nerbyos ko tinawagan ko ang isang taong gusto kong maka-usap man lang bago pa may mangyaring kung ano sa akin.